After one year and eleven months, things are really starting to move here in my adopted town of Santa Fe: I have work, I have a sweet place to live, I have been making several new and lovely friends, and I’m feeling much more connected to my spiritual community here (yes, even in this age of Zoom.) Logically, one would assume I should continue on this path. But oddly, I am being strongly guided on a different path. Spirit appears to have other plans for me.
It is so strange to have things flowing here in New Mexico and to simultaneously be getting such strong soul guidance to return to my ancestral homeland in Pennsylvania. (Although most of my ancestors are originally from Europe and, one branch, I believe, from Russia, many of my mother’s lineage have lived on this continent in the Pennsylvania/New Jersey area for hundreds of years.)
After a hugely important and sacred dream I had in June of this year, it felt as though the spirits and my ancestors were calling me back to the little village in southeastern PA in which my mother grew up. I believe I am being asked to settle in that specific area, to feel the energy of the land, to get acquainted with however many of my mom’s relatives are still around, and to try to make deeper connections with my ancestors. (The cemetery in this particular village is filled with the bones of my ancestors.)
My mother had been estranged from her biological parents since she was one year old; and so, of course, we children never really got to know them either. Nor did we get to spend a lot of time with most of Mom’s six siblings, nor her many cousins, aunts and uncles. As one friend helped me understand this evening, it’s like I only know half of my ancestral soul. All my life we mostly connected with my father’s side of the family. It’s like I’ve been unconsciously walking around with one leg all my life.
Those friends and family members who are used to thinking and acting logically and rationally believe I’m crazy to move right now. On the other hand, several of my more intuitive friends, those who understand the importance of being spiritually guided, literally get chills when I tell them the details of my dream and what is guiding me home. Quite a few have felt strong affirmation that I’m on an important path right now. (It’s always such a relief to get affirmation from people I trust.)
This time feels different from all the other many, many times I’ve moved in the past fifteen or so years. This time I will be finding a little home of my own. I will nest. I will have all my books in one place. I will set down some roots–at least for a time. I will walk the beautiful roads of this particular village. I will sit along the cool, sweet creeks. I will converse with my new neighbors–all 100 of them. (Yep, that’s the population of this charming little village.) I dream of sitting on a rocker on a porch. I dream of befriending the trees in my backyard, and the birds and four-legged visitors. I dream of meditating and getting messages from those ancestors who have been hungering to connect with me. I dream of sitting along the banks of the river and praying upon the land that was once sacred to my ancestors.
This feels like such a deep soul journey. I will hold tenderly in my heart the friends I have recently made and my love for this beautiful high desert land, while anticipating the connections yet to come in the green land of my birth.
My challenge right now is finding the balance between working to make things happen, and surrendering to the process, trusting that wonderful opportunities will be opening to me. I know I have support in the unseen realms, and I know that things are unfolding in a good way.
Here I am: ready, waiting, open, and trusting.