I had a wonderful epiphany this morning. Correction: I actually had two very important epiphanies! It’s been a banner morning!
Recently I’ve been feeling very grateful for my “soul sisters.” These are women with whom I feel a deep connection and with whom I can talk easily and comfortably about anything, but particularly about things of a spiritual nature.
I realized that I met most of these women during the last several years as I’ve been traveling around the country and living in several different places. This morning I made a list of them:
In northern California I deepened my friendship with one, and I met seven more.
In Montana, one of my soul sisters transplanted from California introduced me to the owner of a rural cafe in Montana. That woman became a friend, mentor, and soul sister as well. I know we have work to do together at some point in the future.
Then there are the four I know in Santa Fe, one of whom is originally from Pennsylvania.
In Pennsylvania I know many wonderful women, and five I have particularly deep relationships with.
Then there is the sister-friend whom I’ve known for close to fifty years. She lives in Ecuador now. No matter how long we’ve been apart, when we reunite, we pick up right where we left off. Another sister is originally from Venezuela. We seldom see each other, but there is kinship and love.
It lights me up to think of all these beautiful women of Spirit! I feel confident that we knew one another before we were born. We are part of the same soul family and we help each other on our paths of evolution.
So after I considered all the women in my life, I stopped to consider if I also have “soul brothers.” I came up with nine, from six different states. A few I’ve had a relationship with, and others the potential of a relationship. I feel a closeness with all of these nine. Interestingly, I realized with surprise, my ex-husband is not included in this list. (Here comes one of the epiphanies.)
I loved Tom dearly, but realized we were never really going to connect on the spiritual level. (I asked him several times about his spiritual beliefs and… there just didn’t seem to be any!) We got along well politically, socially, emotionally, physically, and mentally; we just didn’t have spirituality in common. And, as many of you know, spirituality is absolutely integral to my life. I wondered then, Why did we come together? The answer came immediately: to form a family. I realized that my soul wanted to experience a family in this lifetime. I wasn’t able to have a child of my own, but Tom and his son became my dear beloved family. Even after he and I separated, he told me that I “was family.” I don’t think he really had that with his three other significant relationships–even with the ex-wife who bore his son.
So I finally figured out why we came together and why we parted ways! (It only took me twenty-five years!!!) I had to leave in order to meet twenty-one (or more) of my soul family! I had so many people to meet, places to see, experiences to have, and things to learn about. My spiritual life needed to be watered and nurtured. And most of that could never have happened within the context of our marriage. But it was all okay, because we came together to be family and so that his son could have a happy and relatively stable childhood. (This did not happen at a conscious level, though.) And after we accomplished that, it was okay to go. (Not that I felt any level of peace or acceptance about it for many, many years.)
What a relief to have finally figured that out. Tom, though a truly wonderful person, was not a spiritual partner. Therefore, it could not last. My spirit needed to connect with a spiritual companion. Or, as the case may be, many spiritual companions!
I am so glad to finally have some peace about this.
That was Epiphany #2.
The first epiphany is as follows. After my father died in 2014, he had two messages for me. One was for me to “live my life” and the other was for me to “find my community.”
I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job with the former. I’ve been learning to follow my heart and not necessarily live as the world expects me to. But the “finding my community” part has seemed much more challenging.
I always assumed “my community” was a physical place filled with spiritual comrades of like-mind. I have lived in a few lovely communities with great people, but none of them really felt like the place. But this morning I realized that all the above-mentioned sisters and brothers are my community. They may live scattered around the globe, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t my family, my community, and my tribe.
Maybe someday I will finally stumble on the exact right place with the exact right people. But meanwhile, I am ever so grateful to recognize these beloved souls as part of my soul family.
I am so richly blessed. And grateful.